Firstly I guess I should apologise for not posting on here in a good while. I could say I've had a lot on recently, and I have in truth. I could say that some pretty big things have been going down in my life over the past few months, and that would be a fact. But really I am a very naughty book blogger who is slapping her own wrist very fiercely right now and promises to be better in the future.
Ladies and Gentlemen, that was my face upon finally finishing that epic book of epicness (its official title on this blog it seems). I don't think I've felt such complete and utter satisfaction at finishing a book as I did this one. Not ever, and I've read some long books in my time let me tell you!
Now don't get me wrong, I didn't dislike Les Mis. Actually I loved the story, the story was awesome, the story was heartbreaking and heartwarming and made me want to throw the book across the room and scream but also hug it close and keep it under my pillow in the space of a couple of lines. It was an emotional roller coaster. It was amazeballs. It had twists and turns coming from nowhere that even a bitter, twisted old plot predictor such as myself didn't see coming. I both wanted to snog Jean Valjean (though that might have been the Hugh Jackman element showing through) and take him in my arms and tell him everything was going to be OK. Cosette was kinda loveable but also kinda bratish and annoying in a way that teenage girls ACTUALLY ARE (trust me, I work with the little madams all day long). The same goes for Marius, both naively idealistic and utterly self important as most young men are. The innkeeper and his family are vile, just vile, in that way that you kinda enjoy, like hating Umbridge in the Harry Potter books. You hate her so much, even more than Voldemort, because of her petty, petty, smug ways, and that is how much you hate Thenardier!
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HOWEVER and it's a big HOWEVER, a big fat giant HOWEVER (hence the capitals, hell I'd increase the font size if I could), Victor Hugo cannot stop ruining what is a perfectly good story with his long, boring-ass ramblings about nothing you want to know about! Seriously this guy cannot shut up about really random things that detract totally from the story and which aren't even that interesting in the first place! They vary from 'The Battle of Waterloo', in more detail than most books on the subject, 'The History of some Weird Convent', which despite an interest in religious stuff I almost nodded off during and my personal favorite 'A Complete and Unabridged History of the Parisian Sewer System', all you ever needed to know about where French poo ends up. These 'mini books' appear right in the middle of areas of the story which are actually quite interesting, so to be honest even if they were about anything you cared about, you end up reading them at double quick speed because you just want to get back to the story! But they are never about anything you care about. Never.
So why include all of this rubbish? Well I have a theory about old Victor. I can only assume that Monsieur Hugo was terribly fond of his research, as all good authors are, right? Trouble is I think he resented having to spend ages reading up on the Battle of Waterloo say, when it actually only briefly featured in his story. He had to be thorough, he had to do the reading, but all that research just for one measly scene. Nar. Not for Victor. So he has to share it all with the reader, whether they like it or not. Hence why we have a book that is twice as long as it needs to be and puts most people off because of its size. Derp! No wonder there are so many abridged versions out there, and if you want my advice you will read one of them if you ever attempt this story. I'm not normally one for promoting abridged versions of books, I'm a literary purist don't ya know, but I'm more than willing to make an exception here. More than.
"Oh alright you got me"
The Film
Yeah I saw it, yeah I liked it, yeah I still think you need to read the book. Do I need to say much more? Before this film I'd never even seen a version of the musical, my entire back history with the whole Les Mis thang came from the book and the book only. Talking to people who LOVE the musical, and many of them came crawling out of the woodwork when the film was showing, I was so disappointed to learn very few of them had read the book. The talked to me as if I didn't really know the story like they did, which was incredibly frustrating and the opposite was true. Thenardier is not a loveable rogue out to make a quick buck, he's a murdering, sadistic psychopath who wants Jean Valjean dead. Eponine is not a tragic heroine, the victim of unrequited love, she is a thieving, teenaged, prostitute with a crush. Worst of all Marius is not a political hero, forever scared by surviving a protest his comrades did not, he only enters the whole barricade thing part way through, only follows that political group to spite his rich but bigoted grandfather and he renounces the whole thing afterwards and regrets his involvement! Saying you've watched the film or the stage production and that you 'know' Victor Hugo is like saying you've watched '10 Things I Hate About You' or 'She's the Man' and that you 'know' Shakespeare. Beyond retarded.
I'll be posting up a whole load of reviews in the next few days to make up for what I missed over the last couple of months. Watch this space!
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